Birthday Cake Funny Happy Birthday Quotes and Wishes are never really complete until you’ve said them in a memorable way! To give you some inspiration, we have compiled 27 Funny Birthday Quotes and Wishes. Have Fun!

  1. “Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.”


  1. “Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty.”-Arthur Schopenhauer


  1. “Happy Birthday to Fay Wray, a wonderful actress. She was, of course, in the movie ‘King Kong’ and would have been 99-years-old today. She was famous because of her love interest with a giant ape, and, wait a minute, that’s Maria Shriver.” –David Letterman


  1. A diplomatic husband said to his wife: “How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?” -Unknown


  1. “The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down.” -T. S. Eliot

Quotes Birthday Cake

  1. “Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, ‘Happy Birthday.’ – Steven Wright


  1. “If you live to the age of a hundred, you have it made because very few people die past the age of a hundred.” – George Burns


  1. “You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.”- Ogden Nash


  1. “Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.”-Jo Brand

Birthday Quotes

  1. “A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.” – Robert Frost


  1. “I’m not interested in age. People who tell me their age are silly. You’re as old as you feel.” – Elizabeth Arden


  1. “When I turned two I was really anxious because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought if this keeps up, by the time I’m five I’ll be 64.”-Steven Wright

27 Birthday Quotes and Wishes

  1. “Life would be infinitely better if we could be born at the age of eighty, and gradually approach eighteen.” -Mark Twain


  1. “First, you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly, and then you forget to unzip your fly.”– Branch Rickeyfunny


  1. Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.


  1. When I was little I thought, isn’t it nice that everybody celebrates on my birthday? Because it’s July 4th. – Gloria Stuart

Birthday Quotes

  1. “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” – Lucile Ball


  1. “This year when you blow the candles on your cake, feel free to wish for everything you ever wished. For I have already made a deal with God for all your wishes to come true. After all, you know how convincing I can be, right?” -Unkown


  1. “If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.” – Mickey Mantle


  1. “When you turn thirty, a whole new thing happens: you see yourself acting like your parents.” – Blair Sabol

Birthday Quotes

  1. “One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. A woman who would tell one that would tell anything.” – Oscar Wilde


  1. “Guess what I found out. Birthdays are awesome, research states that those people who have more birthdays tend to live longer! Aren’t you happy?” -Unknown


  1. “Don’t forget to wear your sunglasses when the cake is served. Happy birthday.” -Unknown
Birthday Quotes
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  1. “Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young.” – Fred Astaire


  1. “A man who views the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.” -Muhammad Ali


  1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? -Satchel Paige