Do couples need to put a number on how often they have sex in order to be happy? When it comes to sexual frequency in your sex life, everyone is different. However, most couples agree that the better the sex is, the better they feel about their marriage.
Your sex life will go through different stages in your marriage. Every couple goes through their can’t-keep-their-hands-off-each-other lovemaking sessions and times when you can’t wait to get home and tear your clothes apart. But, eventually this puppy love will calm down to only a few times a week and you may find yourself wondering: how much sex is enough? What does it mean when you’re not having as much, or as passionate sex as you used to?
Don’t worry. Sexual ups and downs happen in every marriage. We’re looking at realistic notions of how often married couples should have sex and why our sex lives evolve the longer we’re married.
Why Married Sex is the Best Sex
Married couples have the best sex of all. Most partners report a more satisfying sex life when it is shared with someone they love. A strong connection can make sex feel more powerful, no matter how often you are having it. The familiarity between married partners allows them to feel more at ease, they know how to please one another, and are able to let loose and try new things in the bedroom.
How Often Should Married Couples Be Intimate?
Every couple is going to have different needs and desires in the bedroom regarding sexual frequency. Of course, age, length of the relationship, work, and health all play important. Should you be having sex every single day, or is once a month sufficient? Here’s where age and relationship status play a role in how active you are sexually.
- Having Sex Every Day:Younger couples or new couples often clock in at having sex every day, if not five times a week or more. This is a common occurrence at the beginning stages of any relationship. The oxytocin and dopamine is running rampant and your building lust for your partner is over the top. It’s no wonder you can’t wait to get home and get between the sheets. Plus, being in a new sexual relationship means you’re still at that exciting stage of figuring out one another sexually; finding out what makes one another tick.
- Multiple Times A Week: One or more times a week seems to clock in as the ‘norm’ for married couples or those in long-term relationships. After the sexual high of a new relationship wears off, couples begin to form a sexual routine that is a little more manageable than getting busy every single day.
- Once a Month: Having sex once a month may sound like a Newlywed’s worst nightmare. After all, a lack of sex in the relationship leaves couples vulnerable to unhappiness and infidelity. Where there is little to no sex in a marriage, couples tend to feel vulnerable, angry, detached, and may end up becoming unfaithful. However, having sex once a month doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. In fact, so long as both the partners are happy and satisfied with their intimate tryst on that glorious day once a month, there is no cause for concern.
Quality over Quantity in Your Sex Life
Really, it is not the amount of sex you’re having that matters in a healthy relationship, it’s the quality of sex you’re having. Great sex means being with someone who you feel comfortable with; someone you love and care for. You want a partner who will do what it takes to satisfy you. Being able to give both commendation and constructive criticism in the bedroom, along with knowing how to read each other’s body language, and being open to exploring specific desires are all great signs of quality sex.
Benefits of Sexual Frequency
Your preferred sexually frequency is up to you and your partner. Between raising children and committing to work responsibilities, it may be all you can do to simply catch your breath, let alone schedule a night for romance every day. Still, there are benefits to having sex regularly with your partner.
- Sex for the Immune System: Sex is great for keeping your immune system in tip-top-shape. People who have sex regularly show higher defense against the common cold and are reported to take fewer sick days at work.
- Heart Health: Having sex is great for your cardiovascular health. Science suggests that those who have an active sex life are shown to have lower blood pressure and lowered risk of heart attack than those who were not sexually active. Risks of heart disease are also lowered significantly for males who had sex regularly.
- Closer Connection: Being intimate with your partner also benefits your connection. Couples who had sex once or more times a week reported feeling happier in the relationship than those who were less sexually active. Sex releases feel-good hormones throughout the body and makes you feel more connected to your mate.
- Improves Bladder Control: Women who have sex regularly report a stronger pelvic floor, which can strengthen bladder control and help fight against future incontinence.
Other benefits include reduced stress and anxiety, improved sleep, and lowered risk of prostate cancer.
How Often Should Married Couples Have Sex?
The truth is, there is no definite answer for how often married couples should be having sex. If your sex is satisfying and makes you feel closer to your partner, loved, and appreciated, it doesn’t matter whether you’re having it every day or every month. As long as you are both feeling satisfied with your sex life there is no reason to try and fit into any particular frequency bracket. As the saying goes: if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
When it comes to sexual frequency it’s important to be open and honest with your partner about how often you would like to be having sex. Being intimate together can only bring a couple closer together, so long as both partners are loving and respectful. So never be afraid to communicate with your partner about sex.